The thing that I essentially look for when I meet a woman is chemistry. It’s tough to define chemistry - it’s like an x-factor that tends to make conversation flow between two people. There’s no effort, no walking on eggshells, or pickup artist tips required to make an awesome interaction. We just “get” each other. The things that make me laugh makes her laugh, and vice versa. It’s a compatibility of personalities. But there’s more. There’s a spark, a sexual passion. Not only do we get along, but we turn each other on.

Discovering chemistry with a woman is rare, but when it does happen it is real. I actually think we prevent even the chance of chemistry most times. It could come about much more than people allow. The thing is is that chemistry can ONLY be allowed, or prevented – it cannot be conjured on command. These days I have been experiencing chemistry with strangers a whole bunch more than I used to when younger. I attribute this to one thing: my social Intention.

When I was younger, I was mostlyworried with proving that I was good enough and fitting in. Ineeded others to like me. Sometimes my fear of rejection would actually push me to reject others before they rejected me, as a pre-emptive measure to protect my weak self-esteem. I was highly critical and judgmental, andat times, outright hostile. I made a decision I didn’t likesomeone before they beat me to the punch of not liking me. That way it didn’t matter, and I felt less emotional pain.

In the end it was only a substitution of one type of pain - the short burst of anguish fromrealizing that someone didn’t  like me – with therecurring, low-intensity pain of not having friends and believing I was sociallyostracized.

Nobody wants to try hard when they socialize. Conversation is supposed to flow. Laughs should come easy and often. However this is not always the case. I meet people that I dont click with, or bore me, and I understand that there are many who most likely say the same about me in return. On the other hand,|But the thing to notice is that the relationships I now have with those people I click with are very strong, positive, and enjoyable. The essentialdistinction in the relationships I have now, compared to when I was younger, is that I focus on drawing out the best in people,looking for {reasons to LIKE them|things I like about them}, as opposed to DISLIKE them.

At this point you most probablycan tell how much I enjoyacronyms. Here’s another one, maybe my best to date!

ME

What that makes me, me? To say it another way, where does my personality come from? From my thoughts, my perception based on the end result of my experience – my MENTAL EXPERIENCE.

When meeting somebody, what I want to do is impart who I am, my real personality, for the purpose of getting to know me (ME). Also,In return I want to draw out the same in them. I want their ME.

We’ve been talking about chemistry this whole time, and it can only arise when two people are being authentic with each other. A man and a woman can be honest and open with each other anddetermine that they dislike each other very much. But if indeedthere is even the possibility for chemistry – for that mysterious ’click’ - it can only happen without anypersona.

Everybody knows there are times when you are absolutely authentic, and other times when you put up a false persona, or restrain your words. Generally this is commonly an unconscious reaction to other people. If you’re able to consciously develop a strong ME focus,keeping the interaction positive and based on sharing mental experience, you will see that you will feel chemistry with others way more than you do now.

ME is an enormous subject , something I devote many hours to in my training programs. I won’t go into elaborate detail in this article, but if you read my Love Stories, you’ll witness countless examples of ME in play.

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